I have over 300 friends on Facebook, yet I’ve never felt so alone. Well, that may be an exaggeration. I have felt this alone before. After Jeff.
It shouldn’t have been that hard, yet it was. I keep telling myself that. I keep trying to convince myself that the relationship should have been easier…the everyday of it. I keep telling myself that it was the right thing to do. I keep telling myself it was for the best…for both of us. My heart just isn’t there yet. I don’t know when it will be. I know I’ll be ok..we both will. It’s just the here and now that I’m having a hard time with. Why am I still crying? Why am I still thinking about him everyday when I wake up and when I go to bed? Why can’t I let go? I’m trying so hard. I should be further along than this. I wish I were. I’m just a ball of sadness and loneliness. I just miss him. I miss his friendship. Even if we weren’t meant to be together in the end, why did I have to lose the friendship? We said we’d always be friends. I guess not. Man, this is starting to sound familiar.
I hate it.