Listening

Every morning I wake up. I take a shower. And then I crawl back into bed for a while. Depending on if the neighbors woke me up before my alarm goes off, some mornings I may get more time back in bed than others. I love it. I try to go back to sleep (I have a 2nd alarm set so that I always have 15-20 minutes back in bed after the shower). I have been doing this for months and I have only fallen back asleep once. I must have been really tired that day.

Most mornings I lie there and listen. To everything around me. I hear water running (the people upstairs taking a shower), I hear dogs bark sometimes, I hear people walk down the stairs…going to work. But mostly I hear the birds or silence. It’s been darker in the mornings…so it’s nice to watch the light slowly seep through my windows and turn my room blue.

I usually think while I’m lying there. I think about what I need to do today or what I want to do today (like write this post). I think about people I have been meaning to call back and haven’t yet. I have that same thought every morning until I call them back. It’s very strange – like an alarm – that goes off about the same thing at the same time of the day everyday until I’ve turned it off by calling them back. Yet, throughout the day I forget to call them. Until the next morning when I’m lying there.

I think about things I should have said or done. I think about things I want to say and do. I mostly just think. I wish I didn’t. I take that time each morning to try and get a cat nap in (yes, I realize I just woke up) and feel a little less tired. Yet I never nap. I can’t turn off my brain. I’ve tried. It just doesn’t work. So I just lie there and think about stuff.

And then my alarm goes off and I get up and get ready.

That’s what I do every morning.

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